CPL."Killing Machine"

Name:???
Age:Possibly 25
Planet of Birth:Corellia
Family:???
Codename:"Killing Machine", "Psycho", "Engi"
Race:Human
Grander:Male
Outlook:
With one of Commander in briefing room
(Right side)

Without helmet
OOC:Ignore the jacket and shirt.
Following class:Imperial CPL. Engineer
Rank:CPL
History:
He was born at unknown planet in family of Farmers. He had five brother's and parents didn't take care much about him. His father was drunk and his mother was smoking, drinking and partying all the time. Father was before punished for raping his daugther. Parent's weren't carrying about their kids. His brothers took care of him and sent him to school. There he met ???. ??? helped him with troubles with other children. They began to be best friends. Since they were all poor they started to small robberies and buissnes on their own. When he was Fifteen he killed his father and mother when they came back drunk after party. Story goes that he took blaster and loaded only two shots. He aimed for chest so their death was painful and slow. With ??? he started to work for local gang. When he was nineteen he was catched by Police when they were escaping with stolen goods from shop. He throwed bag to ??? over the fence but he didn't had time to climb over and Police stopped him. He had two chances. Join Empress's Army or go to Jail. He choosed army. He passed 10/10 of trainings with excellent statiscs. He served on many planets althought he is scared of leading after accident. The only know data is report from patrol:
REPORT NUMBER 68765
SGT. Killing Machine and his squad patroling Alderaan streets.
Report:
SGT and his squad were ambushed by local rebels. Outnumbered they were surrounded and 5/6 of squad was killed.
SGT has been demoted to rank CPL. for no discipline and insubordination.
None of attackers were arrested. Possibly number of killed by patrol: 4
Casualties:5
Coordinates: GRID 48564

Equipment:DC-15A Blaster Rifle Upgraded with scope. DC-17 Blaster Pistol. Two grenades. A fusioncutter.

I got some comments

Quote :

There he met ???. They began to be best friends.

Okay so they suddenly began to be best friends? You should be a little bit more detailed on that

Quote :

When he was Fifteen he killed his father and mother when they came back drunk after party. Story goes that he took blaster and loaded only two shots.

Why? He just killed them randomly? Because his father and muther were always drunk?

Quote :

He was leading squad as SGT. They were ambushed and he didn't handle situation and whole his squad was KIA. Only he survived running away from battlefield. He has been demoted to Cpl and from now he is refusing any promotions to higher ranks. Now he is part of Land Army as Trooper/Engineer.

You should write more then just "They were ambushed and he didn't handle situation and whole his squad was KIA. Only he survived running away from battlefield. "
Try to write more detail

Further I like your Idea of the unkown ????

Good luck

Maybe adding who they were ambushed from is a good idea and what exactly happened.

Okey okey...
Okay Willy so:
1.I will get more detail on that.
2.He is psycho. His parents weren't treating him good and other brothers. Also he had a sister which suicided after Father raped her (YES PEDOPHILE).
3.I will talk with Atris about that.
And to ??? She/He is unknown race, gender and name. It will be revealed in RP

Then point two should be there. and I like the Unkown, becuase its the best way for rPing

It is... About sister He doesn't know even.

Why so many questions on a fucking wip bio?Just shut up and let him finish it will ya'?

Take it easy, I was just mentioning a couple of things he should aprove. Later or sooner he would have too and then its good to already have this comments then editing it a milion times